{"id":12363680,"date":"2025-12-22T01:00:37","date_gmt":"2025-12-22T09:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/?p=12363680"},"modified":"2025-12-11T13:36:13","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T21:36:13","slug":"dear-abby-unmarried-godly-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/22\/dear-abby-unmarried-godly-son\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Despite all my efforts, my rich and godly son remains unmarried"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My son has completely given up on dating.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"related right\"><h2 class=\"widget-title\" data-curated-ids=\"\" data-relation-type=\"automatic-primary-tag\">Related Articles<\/h2><ul><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/28\/dear-abby-brink-of-divorce\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: My husband thinks it&#8217;s funny to act this way. I just want to run away.\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: My husband thinks it&#8217;s funny to act this way. I just want to run away.\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/27\/dear-abby-husband-hid-news\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: Am I overreacting about the news my husband hid from me?\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: Am I overreacting about the news my husband hid from me?\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/26\/dear-abby-sons-posthumous-child\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: I found out by accident about my son&#8217;s posthumous child\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: I found out by accident about my son&#8217;s posthumous child\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/25\/dear-abby-drunk-mother\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: I think she was wrong to tell the kids their mother was drunk\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: I think she was wrong to tell the kids their mother was drunk\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/24\/dear-abby-hostess-disrespectful-clothing\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: My hostess had an unconvincing excuse for her embarrassing outfit\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: My hostess had an unconvincing excuse for her embarrassing outfit\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>Whether it&#8217;s blind dates, casual meetings with members from our church, or dating events I pay for and make him go to, he still hasn&#8217;t found a wife.<\/p>\n<p>At 36, he should already have children and a partner, but despite the best efforts of my wife and me, he remains unmarried.<\/p>\n<p>Our son is 6 feet tall, athletic and godly, and he has his own apartment and clears $100k a year. Despite all this, he still doesn&#8217;t have a wife.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s even reached the point that he gets angry at my wife and me for pressuring him. During a few of the blind dates we set up for him, I watched from afar, and each time he was stood up!<\/p>\n<p>How can I ensure my son gets a wife before I grow too old?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\"><em>&#8212; DAD LOSING HOPE IN NEW YORK<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR DAD<\/strong>: If you are sincere about this question, <em>stop everything you have been doing<\/em>. Your son&#8217;s chances of finding a wife will increase the further you step back.<\/p>\n<p>Has your tall, athletic, successful and godly son told you he even <em>wants<\/em> to be married? As many of the women whose letters I publish express, not all men do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I have a male friend who texts me every morning (&#8220;Good morning, beautiful lady&#8221;) and sends flower emojis (&#8220;Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady&#8221;). Do you think he has feelings for me?<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m a widow, and he was a good friend of my husband&#8217;s. He was the best man at our wedding.<\/p>\n<p>It has been so long since I dated that I am out of touch. He asked me to go to a nude campground overnight. I don&#8217;t know what to think. Help!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\"><em>&#8212; A LITTLE LOST IN KENTUCKY<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR LOST<\/strong>: Oh, he&#8217;s definitely interested. But if the first time he has invited you out is to a nude event, be sure to ascertain exactly <em>what<\/em> he&#8217;s interested in before accepting the invitation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I&#8217;m hoping you can provide some advice on a sensitive subject. Our family of four adult siblings was once very close but, since our parents passed away, has fractured.<\/p>\n<p>A brother has moved to another state, and we rarely see him. A sister has a partner nobody can stand whom she talks about incessantly. She took advantage of our parents by taking money and items from their house before and after they passed that were intended for their long-term care.<\/p>\n<p>My younger brother and I, despite all this, miss our family.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"related right\"><h2 class=\"widget-title\" data-curated-ids=\"\" data-relation-type=\"automatic-primary-section\">Related Articles<\/h2><ul><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/28\/asking-eric-thomas-wedding-registry\/\" title=\"Asking Eric: They&#8217;ve gone off the rails with their wedding registry\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tAsking Eric: They&#8217;ve gone off the rails with their wedding registry\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/28\/dear-abby-brink-of-divorce\/\" title=\"Dear Abby: My husband thinks it&#8217;s funny to act this way. I just want to run away.\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tDear Abby: My husband thinks it&#8217;s funny to act this way. I just want to run away.\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/27\/asking-eric-thomas-sons-ex-girlfriend\/\" title=\"Asking Eric: My son has a fiancee now, but we don&#8217;t want to ditch his ex-girlfriend\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tAsking Eric: My son has a fiancee now, but we don&#8217;t want to ditch his ex-girlfriend\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/27\/harriette-cole-one-sided-dating\/\" title=\"Harriette Cole: I feel like I&#8217;m chasing him, and that is so embarrassing\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tHarriette Cole: I feel like I&#8217;m chasing him, and that is so embarrassing\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><li>\n\t\t\t<a class=\"article-title\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2025\/12\/27\/miss-manners-no-happy-anniversary\/\" title=\"Miss Manners: Maybe I should pretend I forgot about her wedding?\">\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"dfm-title free\">\n\t\t\tMiss Manners: Maybe I should pretend I forgot about her wedding?\t\t<\/span>\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\n\t\n<\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>My sister has not been invited to the out-of-state brother&#8217;s daughter&#8217;s wedding, and, I admit, I feel bad. Am I being silly, or is there something I should say about this action that might further fracture our family?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\"><em>&#8212; DISTANCED IN NORTH CAROLINA<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR DISTANCED<\/strong>: You are not being silly. What you are missing is the fantasy of what your family &#8220;should&#8221; be like.<\/p>\n<p>However, the wedding is not something you should chime in on. This is your niece&#8217;s big day, and if you make waves, you will only further alienate yourself from that branch of the family.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I watched some of his blind dates, and they did not go well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":263,"featured_media":9171364,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"subheadline":"I watched some of his blind dates, and they did not go well","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[181,13645,172,27655],"tags":[22723,383,420],"feature":[],"location":[],"type-of-work":[26968],"coauthors":[26635],"class_list":["post-12363680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","category-latest-headlines","category-lifestyle","category-things-to-do","tag-coffee-break","tag-dear-abby","tag-lifestyle-columnists","type-of-work-opinion-columnist"],"post_status":"","edit_last":0,"edit_lock":0,"highlights":"","original_byline":"","original_canonical":"","original_category":"","original_email":"","original_id":0,"original_pubdate":"","original_source":"","primary_section":"181","primary_tag":383,"print_workflow_body":{"deck_headline":"","print_title":"","print_subheadline":"","print_planned_ready":"","print_pub_date":"","print_slug":"","print_content":"","print_budget_line":"","print_excerpt":"","print_notes":"","photo_limits":"Photo limits are: 1 featured image, 5 featured gallery images, 5 embedded gallery images and 5 in-article embedded images. 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